Adrenaline rush

At the start of almost every game, I can hear my heartbeat go louder and faster. I get quite excited and scared at the same time. Playing gives me an adrenaline rush.

I have read that many people actually become calmer from playing Go, which is weird to me. If I want to become calm, I read a book, or maybe watch a game. Playing would probably never calm me down. Not that I mind. I love the excitement I get when I play.

I go through this awesome whirlwind of emotions.

First I’m scared, because what will happen if the opponent will crush me, or, even worse, I play horribly? Then either happy, angry, sad, as the game goes on. When I make a mistake I get angry at myself, when I find a good move I get excited. The outcome of the game does not have much to do with how I feel about it. If I played well, I’m satisfied.

After the game I am usually as hyperactive as if I just drank 4 coffee’s, 3 red bulls and ate a bowl of sugar. But this effect  only lasts for a few games.

If I play a lot in a short amount of time, say, a few games per day, this effect wears off. Playing then becomes like a routine and I don’t care for the game as much as I did before.

 Maybe this is also why I have dropped Go so often. I just get bored with it.

I guess it would be better if I play, let’s say, 2-3 games a week instead of 3 games a day.

I wonder if other people have this as well? Let me know if you do!